Local News: Local Celebrity, Bobbin Ranks, arrested!
For our local new story, the Local Celebrity that goes by the name, "Robin da hood",
also known as, Bobbin Ranks, was arrested after being busted breaking into a local couples
home at midnight. When he was arrested he confessed that he had broken into 3 other houses
before he was busted. When questioned why he did it, he responded with, "Well, I call myself
'Robin da hood', so I thought I should live up to that name and rob the hood". Since this crime
was a minor offense, he might just get out with a fine, althought if he keeps doing this, he might
face some time at the local prison. Bobbin is not safe just yet, as rumors have spread that allegedly Bobbin
has been stealing from local markets, restaurants, hospitals, and more. If these alleged rumors turn out
to be true, Bobbin Ranks will be seeing a serious amount of jail time. Bobbin Ranks' associates will
also be questioned to try and get proof to arrest the celebrity. A friend of Ranks decided to confirm
some of the allegations. He decided to stay anonymous due to the situation. They said, "Ranks is a wild
guy, he does wild stuff. And I have seen him steal from a store and be proud". This will mean trouble for
Bobbin.
Author: Tonny Hawkes
Date: 9/5/2024
Global News: The cake is a LIE!?
Cakes across the globe have been found to be made with genetically modified ingredients,
these which have been scientifically proven to have more calories than regular ingredients.
According to investigations these ingredients seem to originate from somewhere in Russia.
These ingredients usually have up to 3x the normal amount of calories compared to a regular ingredient.
Affected ingredients are include flour, and sugar. Allegedly the Russian government sneaked modified
ingredients to other countries to make obesity rates rise. Countries have started safety measures,
now shipping containers are inspected for these genetically modified ingredients. This doesn't affect
just cake, but the first instance where the ingredients were discovered was cake. Reports say at a wedding
in Colorado, guests where offered cake, but not a single one managed to finish their slice of the cake. The
cake was given to sciencetists for investigation which is how we found the ingredients. Now remember, watch
your cake!
Author: Sammy Sung
Date: 8/20/2024
State News: Bush Hill under attack by Sniper Monkey!?
A monkey wielding a "Dragunov SVD" Sniper Rifle, was seeing wandering aroun Bush Hill Forest. The ape shows great accuracy
with said weapon, making it hard for the police to approach the ape. The monkey has seen wearing a badge that for the "FBMI"
which is believed to stand for "The Federal Bureau of Monkey Investigation". We don't know what the monkey wants or why they
are at Bush Hill forest, so avoid the forest until further notice.
UPDATE: 10/22/2024
More monkeys have been spotted in the forest. This is forcing the FBI to get involved with this issue. As of now 25 Sniper Monkeys were found in the forest.
Injured: 550
Deaths: 0
Stay tuned for any updates.
Author: Donald Knots
Date: 10/15/2024
